Love. Self. Entirely.

Trying to Keep Positive

Last week, I posted about trying indoor rock climbing at Atlanta Rocks! It was fun, I actually did better than I expected, I was the only one in my group who could climb to the top of one of the harder walls. I don't know HOW I did it because prior to the climbing I had to do one of the hardest 2 hour derby practices of my life (I was being assessed for the upcoming year) and I was already feeling weak. I found the strength to keep on, keeping on but the last wall, I got to over half way and I had to call it a day. Two hours of hardcore skating combined with two hours of rock climbing, I think I did pretty damn good.

At least, I succeeded at the rock climbing. I didn't pass my assessment, I really think some of it was on some bullshit but even though I felt like quitting then and there because I really did give it my all. I know deep down that I'm not a quitter - it stems from my family always putting me down - I can't ever let anyone know that they've gotten me and see me sweat. SO, I'm taking a mental derby vacation and I'm going to do other workouts and get myself back into sparring shape. I gained some weight last year and now I'm slowly starting to lose it. I just have to keep up with the good work. I have until April, I think I can do it by then.

This week, I plan to do Bikram Hot Yoga in Decatur. I bought a 5 class card and there is also a $30 ten day consecutive class offer for newbies, so I plan to do that.

Life is Amazing

I am here. Just been working a lot and applying to graduate programs and trying to get this house sold.

I've decided to embark on something different this year. I plan to challenge myself on anything that is safe, affordable and suits my fancy. One new thing a week, I'm not going to think about it. I'm just going to do it. It can be something life changing or mundane the only requirement is that it is something I've never done but I'm interested in trying.

First up, indoor rock climbing. My upper body strength sucks and I have a slight fear of heights but I'm ready to give it a whirl. 

I hope everyone else out there (who reads this) is having a glorious January. I know that mine is off to a pretty decent start.

Curbing My Disillusionment

"The longer you stay in one place, the greater your chance of disillusionment."

I received this as my Quote of the Day and it hit the nail right on the head. Even though lately I have been quite content and still moving myself towards leaving Atlanta (even though it is going quiet SLOWLY), it's nice to see some type of reinforcement especially when you are heading towards uncharted waters.

My two classes will be over next week, so I can focus on my side projects fully again. I'm quite excited and I have so many ideas that I can't wait to execute. Next week, I will also find out what team I'll be skating on next year so we shall see how that pans out; I'm not that excited about it but there is nothing I can do about it so I just have to move forward. 

Right now, I'm thankful. I have to buy some more dental insurance and I'm going to take care of my teeth. I have a lot of work I need to do and I'm going to just do it. No more excuses, I'm going to take care of me - wish me luck for I hate dealing with the dentist!

Next year will be a healthier me, the next part will be moving this condo but it'll get done. I know it will I just have to figure out how to go about it. Here's to 2010 (yes, I know I'm a tad bit early)!

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Why Get Married (aka. Tiger Woods Y'all)?

I don't understand why in this day and age, it is still seen as inappropriate in plenty of circles for gay couples that are in loving and committed relationships to get married but it's okay for straight couples to make a mockery of this so called "sacred" right.

Give me a fucking break.

First there is Shaquille O'Neill and his various marriage drama. How did he go undetected for 5 years?! That, I don't know. Then there is Tiger Woods, the all American poster boy who seems to have had a jump-off in multiple cities while his wife sat at home with their children. At least she did what most women tend not to do in these situations, she took action and made him know that his actions were not okay but seriously, I don't understand the mentality of the cheating husband or wife.

I think as humans we know what we are capable of WHETHER you listen to that voice or not, you still know whether you are capable of being faithful or not. I personally want to scream when I see how all these people are rallying around these famous people or sports stars saying that they have all these other outside "temptations" that the common person doesn't, which I can't say that isn't true but I do believe people know about those type of "temptations" prior to getting married - since most get married while they are famous. So you know about the lifestyle and yet, you still decide to get married. Therefore, that doesn't hold with me, if you can't keep it together then either don't get married or at least divorce your spouse before you start stepping out.

Is it that hard? Is being married to somebody that complex or complicated? I tell you what, if more people who have had cheating done to them acted like Tiger's wife maybe cheating wouldn't be looked at as something that is readily accepted these days.

The End of National Blog Posting Month

The idea that I actually made it is amazing. It wasn't as hard as I expected but I am quite glad to go back to my original schedule of posting.

Today is my last day in Maryland, I'll be back in Atlanta tonight. It was a fun vacation, it was filled with new memories and remembrances of times past.

I saw old friends, my auntie (who looks and laughs just like mother) and bonded with my father. Even though my family is quite dysfunctional - I'm glad that the family that I talk to is around and that I loyal friends that buffer all the holes where my old family once stood. 

Tuesday means it's back to the grind. It's going to take me a minute to adjust to being back at work and to start getting back involved with school and things of that nature. Classes end on December 11th so I'm almost there, so I can't blow it now. I bought my brother's christmas gift on Black Friday - even though, I'm sure I'll give it to him on his birthday. 

I'm actually looking forward to December. 

Last Night

I am thankful for true friends. Even though I don't get to see them as often, I am glad to have them in my life. 

Yesterday, I went out with my gay boyfriends; I heart them big time. I sound so high school when I say this but it's true, I really do love them. We ended up going to The Hippo which is this old gay club and we ended up dancing, looking at all the interesting people and finishing the night off listening to some bad karaoke. It was a wonderful night.

I had drinks, some good snacks (my poor diet) and wonderful company. What more could a girl ask for? I didn't realize how much I missed Baltimore - I'm still don't want to live in Maryland - but I am entertaining the idea of living in the DC metro area at least.

We shall see. I just know Atlanta is definitely going next year.

Glee - True Colors (Full HQ Studio)

 

I really need to start watching Glee with a box of tissues, I've been getting more emotional over this show more than I do things that are happening to me in real life. Which is a refreshing change, it's nice NOT to have drama flowing around me. 

So this past episode had the Glee squad competing against other glee clubs in a competition that would get them ready for regionals. The first was an inner school squad that of course broke it down by performing such gems as "Bootylicious" and songs of that sort, which I loved. A deaf school caught wind of it and the next thing you knew their glee club showed up to do battle. They sang Imagine in ASL and I could feel the waterworks come. It was so beautiful, it touched everyone even the actors in the show, you could see it; it was just amazing. 

Now, I'm a Cyndi Lauper fan so I was delighted when this past episode ended with the gan singing True Colors. I can't help but to share it. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Black Friday

I had a great Thanksgiving with my father, I miss being around him the older that I get. I do wish my brother had a chance to come but at the same time, I get insanely protective of him which would cause some tension, I'm sure.s

Next time, must take baby steps.

Tonight, I'll be standing outside with one of my friends that I've known since elementary school.  Do you have a person in your life that you don't have to talk to all the time or see every day but when you meet up it is like you never missed a day? Well, that's she and I - which is testament to the fact that I'm accompanying her for Black Friday, which is definitely not my scene. I don't care to shop like this, I rather do it online but I'm sure it will be interesting. I have to meet her at midnight...midnight...I'm not even sure what time the store opens, I'm going to need some coffee.

Giving Thanks

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I plan to work out, stay put and work until I have to go out with my father and step-mother. Today, I want to express my thanks for the things I'm happy about in my life.

• I have peace of mind.
• I traveled more this year than I have in a long time and next year, I'll do even more.
• I decided to go back to school, seriously. I have applied to schools in the past and have been accepted but I never follow through...not this time.
• I decided that I will be moving overseas next year and I'm excited about that.
• I found a roommate until February to help with expenses.
• My car maintenance is pretty okay.
• I have gotten closer with my best friend in Atlanta.
• I'm thankful that my brother and I are still extremely close even though we don't live together anymore.
• I'm thankful that I'm challenging my ideas of design and I'm starting to be creative.
• I'm happy that the people in my life, I chose them and they chose me and we bring stability and reliability to our lives.
• I'm thankful to still have a job with a boss that I love in this economy.
• I'm happy to stumbled upon a lot of interesting blogs that give me hope, a sense of clarity or the much needed laugh because I really need it sometimes.
• I'm just thankful to be healthy and for the most part happy.
• I'm thankful that my dad is doing well with his kidney transplant and that both my brother and I are taking better care of ourselves health wise.

I hope everyones Thanksgiving is a blessing OR if it isn't that you have plenty of booze to get you through it!

BWI Bound

Tomorrow, I'll be landing in Maryland at this time. I'm excited to see my friends and my dad not so much the stepmother but she's part of the package. 

I was talking to one of my derby friends about how I wished I liked to see my family but it's just not the case. I'm happy to be able to spend the holiday with my father but I can't deny that I want to bring those miniature vodka bottles that you can buy at the liquor store and I'm not even that huge fan of vodka but I might need it to make it through dealings with the step mother.

I'll be hard at work, though. Just noticed that I have some statistics homework due next weekend so I need to get a serious hold on all that. I've become so fucking serious lately, I don't even know what to do with myself.