I try my best to be a good person. I know my faults (at least, I know quite a number of them) and sometimes I let how others may feel about me – at that particular time – dictate how I start viewing myself.
This has been going on for the better part of three weeks. I can feel the slow slide of positive energy that I once was cultivating and you know what I realized, that I’m angry.
Not just at the situations causing me to backslide that I’m allowing myself too. I allow myself to be treated badly and I then begin to treat myself the same way. Even if someone is not directly affecting me; I seem to take it all on in some way.
It’s destructive; it brings me no sense of peace and I can no longer let myself be sucked up by it.
Subconsciously, I believe part of my mind thinks its karma and that someone is paying me back from a past transgression but maybe that’s something I have to tell myself in order to tolerate BS behavior.
I’m not playing the victim because I have done bad things myself but I’ve turned a lot around about myself for the past year – more so now that I’m 26 and challenging myself and being more pro-active about my finances instead of the other way around. I’m moving forward, I’m trying my best not to hold myself back and I’d like to think that’s what I’m giving out to the universe now.
I pose a question to any person that reads my blog, do you fear your possible potential so therefore you “dumb” things down yourself or allow someone else too so you don’t move further. I’m not saying you fall back – even though that can happen, I’m sure; but you stay somewhat stunted, incapable of growth.
I believe that’s what I do or have been doing and forcing myself to go against my grain allows it to be less of an issue but these days I see how hard it is for me to fully let go of something that has been drilled into for God knows how long.
I plan to go into more detail of it at a later time but I’d like to end this weekend on a positive note so drum roll, please!
My father turned 50 this week! To all who knows he has limited kidney function and several other problems, the doctor says his vitals are improving surprisingly enough so I’m quite excited about that! I want to see my daddy around for 30+ years to come. I told him to go see Tropic Thunder…he wasn’t the biggest fan (btw, GO SEE THAT MOVIE!).
Happy 3-day weekend to everyone! Any exciting events going down?
