Love. Self. Entirely.

Footprints

Lately, I have been dreaming about the beach. Of walking barefoot in the sand as the water laps onto the shores brushing my toes as it drifts back to the sea.

I really love the water. I'm not sure why because I sure as hell can't swim but to me, there is nothing better than looking out onto the ocean and seeing nothing but the rippling of the waves into the distance. I've loved it since I can remember and I hope to lap it up as much as I can when I go to the Dominican Republic.

Water, the ever evolving circle of life and as I stand on the shore. My footprints leaving my own little mark on the warm sand. It's funny but I like to always look back and see my footprints in the sand; maybe because I can't believe how much I have actually walked but I tend to do this but only briefly, my eyes always focus back towards the water and the distance and my moving forward.

Maybe that's the symbol of my life right now. Always changing, never the same looking out to the distance constantly moving forward.

It Hurts Me To Admit This, but...

I love the new Miley Cyrus song, I admit it! I love a song by Hannah Montana. I can't help that it makes me somewhat sentimental. I guess anything involving making a change in life can impact someone in their teens, twenties, thirties and beyond. I have thought in great length about all that I have to do in this life and what I will accomplish and I guess this song reiterates that fact to me. Besides, the words are quite poetic - if she wrote them herself - she's quite a good lyricist!

What do you guys think of this song? Any other secret fans out there? :)

Ushering In A New Era

Today, my future tenants are receiving their keys. That means that technically this place is no longer mine but theirs (even though I’ll be living here for a little while longer).  Truthfully, a tiny part of me is sad because I’m leaving the familiar but the greater portion of me can’t wait to move on from here. From this place and all the frustration that I’ve felt while living here. I’m not saying that I won’t ever be frustrated again – I wish it was that easy - but I know moving outside this environment will help me in the grand scheme of things which to me is the most important. Even if it’s for only one year, imagine all the possibilities!

Which ignites me to ask, is there anyone else out there embarking on something new? It doesn’t have to be “big” to anyone but yourself; are you chartering new territory and how do you feel? I have this nervousness – which borders on pensive excitement – because I technically don’t have a place to go…yet. I’m looking at various places and there is a strong contender that I met last night but who really knows? The potential of being homeless is not looking good BUT I know that I could always bunk in my storage unit, if needed. (That is a joke or at least, I hope for it to continue to be one!)

In the mean time, I still need to finish up my packing. Get some keys made and prepare for the new dwellers of this condo to take over.  A week from now I’ll have a maid, a handy man and a carpet cleaner in this abode to usher it into it’s new era.  For now, I’m surprisingly calm about it…for now.

Until next time, have a blissful day.

Keeping it Forward

I have officially moved the majority of my belongings into storage. Now, I have a few pieces of furniture that I either plan to sell or donate to the local Goodwill. My body definitely feels the strain of it being that I moved things all by my lonesome. Which truth be told, I didn’t mind as much as I originally planned. Maybe it was the exercise that I knew I was getting or the fact that hauling my things out of my condo into a storage unit finally cemented in my mind that this was indeed going to happen. I am moving from this place – if only for a year – and I’m going to fully live my life.

Even though, this lease is only for a year knowing that I don’t have to live at my condo for that time frame makes me so happy. You have NO idea how much so. My goal is to eventually sell my property but being that it hasn’t happened yet, I don’t mind having someone else stay there as long as I don’t have too.

I went through all of my stuff. Various clothes I no longer wear, knick knacks in various places that I’m not sure why I bought were all carefully bundled up and hauled off to the Goodwill. I really think that I want to be as free as possible. I don’t want to be tied down to anything – except the house, because I can’t be rid of it – I really just want to leave with the clothes on my back and leave the rest up to God, luck and chance.

Of course, I won’t do that. At least, not yet but give me time. I still have to minimize my debt, pay some people back and save, save, save! I’m so ready to be on the move this time. I can’t wait to see the world, start designing with materials that I acquire from places outside of Georgia and being the person that I really want to be.

I’m scared, yes. Hell, even at times I still think I’m doing the wrong thing because even though I am going back to school, I’m still conditioned to think that I should want to be settled down right now.

I tried to be “settled”. Settled isn’t working for me right now and I’m ready to go out and see things that have piqued my interest before I finished college. Pushing the thoughts away didn’t work; trying to find happiness in solace in other things in order to not listen to my gut did not work; so really, I’m done with trying. 

It's time to live. :)