Last night, I went to my first derby practice in Stone Mountain. It wasn't as daunting as I grew to expect. I was perfectly fine with it, actually. I did have some pangs because I realized I wasn't that far from my ex's but I wasn't as sad --it was more bittersweet because there was a part of me that wanted to see him and there is the other part (the bigger part) that just wanted to go to the skating rink, do my thing and then leave.
The practice was hard, which I'm happy for because I'm trying to tone up and lose some poundage but on my way back across town, I received two texts from my roommate. She texted me around 10:30 - 10:45 at night --she's been out of town -- asking if I would come to the airport (that was the first text) to come get her, the second text asked if I couldn't do that would I mind picking her up from the station. Her flight would be landing at 11:50pm. I didn't even bother to respond.
Lately, I have been more cognizant of the folks I deal with in my daily life and yes, we do live together but I really don't deal with her NOT because she isn't a nice person --she is-- but I don't have time to deal with people who want me to help them out on their terms. She was gone all weekend but asked me an hour before she was supposed to land for a ride? When she knows I have to get up and work the next day and I don't have the luxury of sleeping in because I don't work nights (like she does). Did I also mention that she owes me half the rent for October, which I have been somewhat nice about - well, I gave her to the end of this week to come up with something. So, I didn't answer her, I went home, took a shower and went to bed. No more, says I. No more. I'm not extending myself for people who barely extend themselves for me.
I hate when I have to let my inner bitch out. I prefer a quiet, serene life but after all the stuff I've allowed to happen to me in regards to my ex, my family and some of my friends; I really don't have the time, energy or want to be flexible for people. I've been flexible all of my life; I'm spent, I will only help people who I know will help me.
